October 12, 2017 PLANTATION, FL - Enigmatic augmented reality startup Magic Leap announced this week they have successfully closed their next round of fundraising, allowing them to continue work on titillating clips that do not show any actual product.

In an interview, founder Roy Abovitz laid out his vision of perpetuating the public’s perception of the company as a gigantic bottomless money pit. “Our goal”, insisted Abovitz, “is to beguile and allure curious parties for years to come. Are we building a headset? Glasses? Some sort of contact lens? Who knows! The only way to find out is to see the demo when you’re investing in our next round.”

A company spokesperson remarked that Magic Leap has already broken ground for an on-site production studio, and has also made moves to dramatically ramp up their hiring efforts for video production, directing, video and sound editing, and screenwriting. They also announced the start of construction on their new headquarters, which will be a large windowless building with “Worth The Wait, We Promise” painted in large letters on the side.

This article was originally published on AlwaysTrending, a fantastic (but archived) satire site by Matt Frisbie. Copied here with permission of the author.